"How do I respond to a female supervisor who keeps making fun of my white colleague for being white? 

For instance, he's new to cooking and doesn't do it that often but sometimes my supervisor will notice what he's eating for lunch and make a remark "Can you stop being so white? That is the blandest looking food I've ever seen". Or he'll make a joke to our other office buddies and she'll make a remark that kind of puts him down "you sound like a white dad telling that joke". We'll be talking about dancing and she'll remark "he can't dance cuz he's white". He never rebuffs it because she's his superior."

"(...) I'm imagining when you hear the supervisor make those comments you feel uncomfortable, because you're really wanting a greater sense of safety and choice in the workplace. You also say that your colleague never rebuffs the statements because the person saying them is his supervisor. I'm taking that to mean that you believe that your colleague also feels uncomfortable when he hears these statements--and that you want him to have more choice about how he is being spoken to and for him to be seen for more than just his race. 

In my response to you, I am starting with this because the tools we offer in this workshop are based on the idea that everyone is worthy of understanding and compassion--and giving that to yourself first is a powerful place to begin. So I'd encourage you to start there. The next steps would then be to expand that understanding and compassion to all people in the scenario you've described and then to speak up from that place about your own values, about what's important to you, and then making your request. (...)"

Warmly,

Sofie
Promotion, Outreach, and Development Coordinator,
NVC Academy