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Subject: We were united in our belief but fell flat in our communication Hey %user.name_f%, In the tale of a well-intentioned social project, four individuals committed their time (a lot of it) and energy (even more) without any income, united by the belief in their cause and the hope of future funding. 🙏 I was one of those four individuals. And we worked our behinds off trying to make this project a success. In time, my peer, Hugo*, perceived an imbalance in effort within the team. Particularly when comparing the time he was giving it, with the time another peer, Gabriela* was giving. Hugo raised his concern to me — I suggested we meet as a team to discuss. At the time, I did not know much about navigating conflict. Nor did I know how it begins and how it escalates. At the meeting, Hugo raised his discontent with heated emotions. Gabriela defended her position. She claimed her contribution was a specialized skill and while her hours did not match Hugo’s, to her, the value of her work more than matched up. She believed that without her contribution, the project would likely fail. Hugo was still unhappy. Not knowing how to handle the situation, I said nothing. We were all adults and surely these two could work this out themselves! I was wrong — the meeting ended with no resolution. 😤😠🤷♀️ Two days later, Hugo decided to leave the project — a decision that contributed to the project's unravelling. I see now that Hugo longed for his efforts to be recognized. And for his hours to be appreciated. I also see that he probably needed some clarity on why Gabriela’s efforts were not comparably equal in terms of time spent. And Gabriela needed to know the value of her contributions was understood. Now, with some training in conflict behind me, I know: Silence is not always golden. When issues arise, a proactive approach is necessary. First, all parties need an opportunity to be heard. And they might need help from a neutral person to make this happen. They may need help in identifying what they need. They may have a request that they don’t know how to phrase. They may not even know what their request is! Having someone to gently help them articulate what’s coming up for them, can help the disagreeing parties work through the conflict. Solving the problem is secondary. We can not solve the problem if we do not know the real reason behind the conflict. And we can not solve a problem if we do not really know what we want! And of course, when we have these skills, they are not just useful for helping others — we can use them to navigate conflicts we find ourselves in, too. 
You can learn more about how conflict arises and what to do when it does in Rachelle Lamb’s upcoming course, Bridging Differences, Building Bonds: a Revolutionary Approach to Resolving Conflict. Key details 👇 ➡ Tuesdays, February 20 - March 12, 2024 (four sessions) This course is part of our beginner’s pathway for Nonviolent Communication (NVC). While courses on our Beginner’s Pathway are designed for newcomers, seasoned NVC enthusiasts are very welcome to attend. Most long-time NVC enthusiasts enjoy the opportunity to get refreshers of some of the building blocks of Nonviolent Communication to reinvigorate and deepen their practice. Rachelle will cover:
You can get 20% off if you register before January 30. And an additional 20% if you are a member of the NVC Library! See you there, %user.name_f%?
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