Subject: He was lonely
Pre-header: And my friends taught me a valuable lesson [flash sale!!]

Dear %user.name_f%,

Years ago, I had a neighbor who told me many things that were “wrong” with my front yard.

"that beech tree has a broken branch"
"those geraniums need watering"
"there's a beehive in the apple tree"

I judged him as interfering, sticking his nose into my business. 

Who was he to tell me how I should keep my yard?! 

My irritation was growing by the day.   

And so was my resentment. 

So I did what I often chose to do when I believed I'd been wronged. I asked my friends for input to question how I was hearing him. 

I asked if they would be annoyed by this behavior too. 

Of course, I wanted them to say yes — I wanted my anger to be justified! 

But instead, my friends reminded me of a valuable lesson — in every situation, there are multiple perspectives.

Slowly it dawned on me that my neighbor had needs behind his suggestions about my yard. 

Instead of avoiding him when I saw him outside, I began to stop and talk to him. 

I slowly got to know him. 

I learned that he was unhappy with his own yard. Too overwhelmed by the work that needed doing that he didn’t know where to start. 

With an NVC lens, I would guess he commented on mine so he could contribute. 

And he had a need for beauty that his own yard didn’t meet, but mine did (when I watered the flowers!).

Plus, he was lonely. 

My NVC lens would guess that by complaining about the trees in my yard, he had an opportunity to speak to someone. He craved connection. 

I stopped seeing this neighbor as interfering. 

I grew to love him. 

We even enjoyed a cup of tea together on occasion. 

He continued to give me advice from time to time, but I no longer got irritated. 

Instead I was able to connect to his care for me and his need for connection. 

Once we connect to the needs of another, we grow in our strength to dissolve conflict.  

Back in 2021, Yoram Mosenzon hosted a 5-session course on conflict, “Connecting in Conflict and the Art of Navigating Dialogue”. 

For this weekend only, you can buy the downloadable recordings of this course for just $15. (That’s a whopping $285 discount on the original full-price cost of the live course!!! And, a 50% discount on the recording that will soon sell for $30). 

To get the recordings for just $15, use coupon code DIALOGUE50 at the checkout. 

In these videos, you’ll hear Yoram’s teachings on: 

• dealing with misunderstandings and opposing opinions with ease 
• using the power of empathy to transform interactions with others 
• letting go of judgments 
• coping with the conflicts between different parts of yourself 
• confidently asking for what you want

I love this course for giving participants some encouragement to embrace conflict. 

Warmly, CEO and Co-Founder, NVC Academy CNVC Certified Trainer