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In this Life Hack, we're going deeper into self-empathy with a simple guided reflection that you can work through. This will be followed by a short exercise with a fill-in sheet led by Gesine and is something you can come back to as you wish.

Use this exercise to identify what state you're in at any moment, and as an exercise to grow capacity for self-awareness and self-compassion. Identify what happened, thoughts, sensations, feelings, longings, etc. Includes a table that outlines three states of being: Protective/Defensive, Vulnerability, Essence.

Here's guidance on how to approach your inner experience when triggered or stuck in a distressing life experience. Self-Compassion in life can be experienced as: "There is room for life experience in me. There is an open space for ‘what is’ to be fully present in my inner experience". This exercise is more about tracing your felt experience than verbalizing it.

Making decisions from overwhelm can be costly for you and others. Instead, to get distance name overwhelm as it comes. Apply self-compassion. Be suspicious of your impulse to withdraw. Find ways to meet your needs. Tell others about your overwhelm. This may allow more support, connection and trust-building. Plan what to do to meet your needs next time you're overwhelmed. Tweak your plan.

When feeling unworthy, powerless, or afraid, we can hear others' comments as criticism, rejection, demands, limits, or attacks. Practice self-compassion, release attachments, and ask “How can I stretch the boundaries of who I believe myself to be, in service of love?”. Try replacing love with a word that inspires you (e.g. freedom, thriving, etc). Note answers that arise later. Or explore the question with a trusted person or in a journal. Read on for examples.

An anchor awakens parts of you that can access a bigger perspective. Also, it can reduce your reactivity, increase conscious relating, and support self-compassion. An anchor helps you get a little bit bigger than the reactivity you are experiencing so that you can access a wiser discernment. It is simple, and can be done anytime and anywhere. Learn to direct your attention to develop your anchor in self-empathy.

Why is it so difficult to change our patterns even when we want to, even when we experience shame or despair about them? Arnina Kashtan offers some of the common pitfalls and concrete steps to overcome them in the future.

• Deepen your capacity for self-acceptance and self-compassion
• Bring greater compassion to your relationships
• Increase your capacity for vulnerability and mourning
• Enhance your sense of trusting your own place in life, as well as your purpose

• Look at your old patterns with warmth – while also opening yourself up to change.
• Increase your self-compassion – and gain a solid ground to stand on.
• Become intimate with your own survival strategies – and those of the people you love.
• Support healing and connecting in your long-term relationships – even when it seems there is no resolution in sight!

In parenting, Roxy Manning notes the tendency for self-judgment and external judgment. Roxy suggests that being a single parent or a working parent influences your ability to implement parenting strategies. The importance of assessing the feasibility of strategies in one's current life context is emphasized. Roxy encourages self-compassion and mourning the gap between desired and achievable outcomes. Her message encourages understanding personal constraints and practicing self-compassion in parenting.