NVC Resources on Empathy
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This handout defines and contrasts "empathy" alongside "responses may meet needs, but are not empathy" (such as advice, correcting, consoling, etc).
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Self-Empathy
A Unique Approach
Watch this video with CNVC Certified Trainer Jim Manske to explore the practice of Self-Empathy through a different lens. Included is a unique four-step Self-Empathy process that culminates in a focus of gratitude.
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Empathy is a form of attunement. Empathy is giving your compassionate curiosity by guessing another’s feelings and needs. Consider how you live or relate to each of these 12 essential aspects of empathy. Some of them mention how we can offer empathy without abandoning ourselves, how empathy isn't always the best response, and how "Empathy can be offered when you disagree with another’s opinion, memory, or perspective."
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Building your body and mind awareness can help you better regulate/calm your emotions. Regular self-empathy will help you better regulate your emotions as well as increase your body and mind awareness. If you are not aware of amygdala activation (fight/flight/freeze response), you will react instead of responding with choice. Use this eight-step process to develop your self-empathy/regulation skills.
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Inbal offers parents and anyone with children in their life a lucid discussion of the important role self-empathy plays in creating healthy, supportive relationships.
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On Self-Empathy
An Exploration of Connecting to our Needs
What is self-empathy? Mary Mackenzie leads you on an exploration of self-empathy through an exercise that will show you how you can easily connect more deeply with your needs.
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Mary Mackenzie, an internationally renowned CNVC Certified Trainer, demonstrates two exercises that will help you learn fast “on the run” self-empathy techniques. The video includes practical techniques to guide you toward noticing your physical sensations, feelings and needs.
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CNVC Certified Trainer Gina Cenciose guides listeners through a 20-minute guided self-empathy meditation.
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In this inspiring audio, Mary takes to a more profound level the traditional NVC self-empathy process of identifying judgments, feelings and needs, by adding a "wrapping" component.
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Trainer Tip: When someone is unresponsive it can be an opportunity to bring in more presence and connection through empathy. They may be worried that if they speak they'll say something they'll regret. Or they may want to know that their needs matters as much as yours. They may also need more space to clarify their thoughts.
